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Ranking Scott Boras’ free agency puns from the 2022 MLB GM meetings

Ranking Scott Boras' free agency puns from the 2022 MLB GM meetings


During the MLB’s GM meetings on Wednesday, agent Scott Boras had a lot to say about many of his clients with the free agent frenzy underway. To liven things up a little bit, Boras came prepared with some puns to help sell his clients a little bit more than usual.

Boras spent quite a bit of time with reporters, and he shared creative updates about the status of free agency as a whole, as well as specific players. Boras gave some interesting answers about Xander Bogaerts, Carlos Correa and many more of the offseason’s top free agents.

With Boras putting so much effort into most of his answers, we have decided to rank them from best to worst. Check out which of Boras’ puns landed and which ones needed more time in the oven.

All of these quotes are courtesy of ESPN’s Alden González, who transcribed some of Boras’ more notable answers.

1. On the interest level in shortstop Xander Bogaerts

“This is the first time teams have had a chance to sign the X-man. I think they’re finding it to be a marvel opportunity. Xander has a very famous uncle, Humphrey, and he certainly left in his memoirs, ‘Kid, there’s gonna be a lot of teams looking at you.'”

As someone with tickets to opening night of “Black Panther: Wakanda Forever,” I can certainly appreciate the first half of this answer. Then, Boras went the extra mile and rolled a Humphrey Bogart reference in there as well. He definitely went over this one a few times before throwing it out in front of reporters.

2. On James Paxton exercising his one-year player option to stay in Boston

“Sometimes it’s better to take the six pack than it is to search for the champagne.”

Frankly, this is just good sense. Instead of chasing bigger money on the free agency market, which he may or may not have gotten, Paxton chose to take the guaranteed $4 million from the Red Sox for the 2023 season. We can all learn a little something from this one.

3. On teams looking at pitcher Carlos Rodon

“Last year the thinking team chose Rodon. And this year, Rodon has sculpted another masterpiece. And I think in the marketplace his definition of museum-level art is now clearly understood by the teams.”

At the risk of making a pun out of Boras’ pun, this was a thinking man’s joke. There’s nothing wrong with getting a little art and culture in your life. This is another joke where I can appreciate the level of work Boras put into it beforehand.

4. On the…

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